Syamarani dasi
Dearmost Guru Maharaja,
Please accept my humble obeisances.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to You!
For the pas few weeks I have been thinking what is there that I could offer you on this special occasion. As all the previous years, I found nothing but pride and whishful thinking. I found it has been really difficult for me since you have left this planet. Even though you wanted us all to seek shelter in you dear Godbrothers, and even though there are many of them that I sincerely respect, I do no think I can ever find anyone quite like you. Throughout this last year especially it has become evident to me, what an honour it is to be your disciple and how greatly I have been blessed by your merciful guidance.
You have always taught me not to bet my life on fallible soldiers, so life itself is reminding me not to. I stubbornly try to have it my own way, but your loving guidance is there, if only I want to follow it! You have taught me how to become inspired, but at the same time not to be too hard on myself – it is your mercy, but i am still learning! You kept on telling me to surrender to Srila Prabhupada’s mercy and learn to love him. I hope I may one day really surrender to his misssion, to share at least the tiniest spark of you dedication!
Among all the 26 qualities of a great devotee your compassion, your kindness, your truthfulness, your selfless love and equality towards everyone brilliantly shine forth as a true proof of your greatness. Somehow I was fortunate enough to get the service of transcribing some texts for Satyaraja prabhu’s upcoming book about yourself, and every sentence that I type remindes me of your beautiful character. Every devotee who has ever met you was charmed by your simple, humble, down to earth nature, your dedication to the mission of Srila Prabhupada and your ability to bring out the best in everyone, to fan the spark of devotional service and to overlook our faults.
Giriraja Maharaja once wrote that ISKCON lacked heart and that you were the heart of ISKCON, and that is definately true. But at the same time you were unbelievably strong and fearless. I am eternally grateful for your bold and sincere instructions. You never tried to avoid any possible questions and have always led us through the turmoil of all politics, conflicts and other possibly dangerous situations.
This kind encouragement to everyone who was trying to somehow or other serve Lord Krsna in any way and your bold preaching and fearlessness are your legacy of love for us, your disciples. A front-line warrior in Srila Prabhupada’s army you always taught us how to fight against all possibles tricks of Maya. You always pushed us forward, making us switch into a higher devotional gear, by gently but firmly pushing us to take responsibility in becoming sincere, non-duplitious servants of Krsna and his devotees.
Thank you for leting me still experience your presence. I need your guidance more than ever before! If I wanted to say that I sometimes feel confused and left alone, it could not possibly be true! I am quite proud and seemingly ignorant, unfortunate fool, blessed with so many memories proving your care for me. Please guide me, please do not let me sink! It might take much longer than I thought, but, please, Guru Maharaja, wait for me! Kindly accept whatever little I have to offer, do not let me stray away from your lotus feet!
mukham karoti vacanam pangum langayate girim
yad krpa tam aham vande sri guru dina tarinam
Your servant,
Syamarani dasi
Please accept my humble obeisances.
All glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to You!
For the pas few weeks I have been thinking what is there that I could offer you on this special occasion. As all the previous years, I found nothing but pride and whishful thinking. I found it has been really difficult for me since you have left this planet. Even though you wanted us all to seek shelter in you dear Godbrothers, and even though there are many of them that I sincerely respect, I do no think I can ever find anyone quite like you. Throughout this last year especially it has become evident to me, what an honour it is to be your disciple and how greatly I have been blessed by your merciful guidance.
You have always taught me not to bet my life on fallible soldiers, so life itself is reminding me not to. I stubbornly try to have it my own way, but your loving guidance is there, if only I want to follow it! You have taught me how to become inspired, but at the same time not to be too hard on myself – it is your mercy, but i am still learning! You kept on telling me to surrender to Srila Prabhupada’s mercy and learn to love him. I hope I may one day really surrender to his misssion, to share at least the tiniest spark of you dedication!
Among all the 26 qualities of a great devotee your compassion, your kindness, your truthfulness, your selfless love and equality towards everyone brilliantly shine forth as a true proof of your greatness. Somehow I was fortunate enough to get the service of transcribing some texts for Satyaraja prabhu’s upcoming book about yourself, and every sentence that I type remindes me of your beautiful character. Every devotee who has ever met you was charmed by your simple, humble, down to earth nature, your dedication to the mission of Srila Prabhupada and your ability to bring out the best in everyone, to fan the spark of devotional service and to overlook our faults.
Giriraja Maharaja once wrote that ISKCON lacked heart and that you were the heart of ISKCON, and that is definately true. But at the same time you were unbelievably strong and fearless. I am eternally grateful for your bold and sincere instructions. You never tried to avoid any possible questions and have always led us through the turmoil of all politics, conflicts and other possibly dangerous situations.
This kind encouragement to everyone who was trying to somehow or other serve Lord Krsna in any way and your bold preaching and fearlessness are your legacy of love for us, your disciples. A front-line warrior in Srila Prabhupada’s army you always taught us how to fight against all possibles tricks of Maya. You always pushed us forward, making us switch into a higher devotional gear, by gently but firmly pushing us to take responsibility in becoming sincere, non-duplitious servants of Krsna and his devotees.
Thank you for leting me still experience your presence. I need your guidance more than ever before! If I wanted to say that I sometimes feel confused and left alone, it could not possibly be true! I am quite proud and seemingly ignorant, unfortunate fool, blessed with so many memories proving your care for me. Please guide me, please do not let me sink! It might take much longer than I thought, but, please, Guru Maharaja, wait for me! Kindly accept whatever little I have to offer, do not let me stray away from your lotus feet!
mukham karoti vacanam pangum langayate girim
yad krpa tam aham vande sri guru dina tarinam
Your servant,
Syamarani dasi
 Sudevi dasi |
10 / 10 | Vyasa Puja 2009 |